


Savage and Bitter

by dragonlands



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Avengers Family, F/M, Fluff, Genderfluid Loki, Hurt/Comfort, Jötunn Loki, Lady Loki, M/M, Oral Sex, Other, Tony's PTSD, Vaginal Sex, alien attack, it's all between loki and tony dont worry, loki is undercover, pepper is a good bro, slave/master roleplay, space
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-09 23:52:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14725986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonlands/pseuds/dragonlands
Summary: The Sovereign are attacking earth, and Tony is working on a device that could help the Avengers to victory. At a party where he didn't even want to go he meets a mysterious woman who looks disturbingly familiar.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is almost finished, only the last chapter is currently a WIP. I will update once a week. Thanks to my lovely betas, laufeysons and genderfluid-loki on tumblr. All mistakes are mine, though
> 
> This happens after Thor: the dark world, except Loki never took the thorne of Asgard. Also this has some stuff from quardians 2, like the Sovereign who are the villains in this fic.

It was only the second hour of the party, and Tony had already broken two of Pepper's three rules: Don't drink too much. Stay respectful to the authorities. Don't fuck anyone.  _ This is for PR Tony, you need to convince them that the Avengers are not just a  _ _bunch_ _ of irresponsible assholes with powers. _

In his defence, he'd been strict about not wanting to come at all. She'd told him it would be a good thing for Tony Stark to show up in public once in a while, not just with his face behind the iron mask. Unfortunately, Fury had agreed so here he was, feeling guilty and disassociated from the crowd.

The music was pretentious, loud enough to dance to but quiet enough that people could flirt and make business connections without shouting. This was exactly the reason he invited people to  _ his _ parties, not the other way around. Nothing interesting – and by interesting he meant scandalous – had happened yet, and he was thoroughly bored.

He should've been at his workshop, not here, surrounded by all these people who only made him want to pour more alcohol down his throat. Formulas and theories were running through his mind – they'd been able to stop the Sovereign attack last time by using Mjolnir as an energy source for Tony's invention, but the whole thing had blown up after a moment leaving only Mjolnir in one piece. If they wanted to get rid of the Sovereign once and for all he needed to think up something, and quick. This party was the last place where he wanted to be.

Women were eyeing him from around the room, some with flirty interest, others with mild disapproval. He wasn't even sure when the two barbie-ish girls had appeared under his arms. They were way too young, closer to Darcy's age than his. There had been a time when he would've gladly taken them upstairs, but now just the thought made him feel like a dirty old man.

"Do you ever wear the suit in the bedroom?" one of the girls asked.

"He couldn't get anything done with the suit on," the other girl answered.

"I could fight villains like the Iron Man is supposed to", he said and slipped out from between them. "Which, I hope, you were talking about, dear."

He left the girls behind and made his way to the nearest waiter who was holding a cocktail tray. He snached a glass and drowned it in one go, then placed it on another tray. As he sat down at the bar he noticed a woman sitting next to him. She lifted her gaze from her empty glass, and her eyes seemed to glimmer mischievously in the dimmed lighting. She grinned slowly, clearly recognizing him, and that face awakened something inside him, a memory, but he couldn't quite place it. All he knew was that he suddenly felt strangely uncomfortable.

"Can I offer you something to drink?" he asked. The woman seemed amused, which bothered Tony. Usually women were either giving him the bedroom eyes or the death glare. Being laughed at was new, and he wasn't exactly pleased.

"Sure," she said. Her voice was deep and velvety. "A cognac, please."

"Two cognacs, please," Tony told the bartender and turned back to the woman. She had delicate, aristocratic facial features, pale skin and thick black hair that reached down to her waist. Her silky dress was green, and fit neatly against her curved figure. Tony couldn't not notice her rather revealing neckline.

"You do not surprise me, Tony Stark," she said and he snapped his eyes back up to hers. They were an intense shade of green, framed with dark eyelashes and his gaze kept wanting to escape. At least she didn't look angry. He shrugged sheepishly.

"I bet I could," he said. The drinks were placed between them and he lifted his, waiting until she clicked hers against his. He sipped it, and let the soft taste spread on his tongue. "Imagination is my only limit. Unless I'm drunk. Then even imagination can't hold me back."

"Are you talking about sex?" she asked. Tony lifted his eyebrow.

"Among other things," he said, taking another sip. She was holding the glass gracefully, long fingers slightly curved. He looked her up and down again, and realized that she was at least as tall as him, possibly even taller. He leaned a little closer, not too close to be breaking her personal space but close enough that he had a reason to lower his voice. "Do you want me to be talking about sex?"

"I'd like to hear about the other things," she said, but she was licking her lips. A drop of cognac had almost escaped her mouth. He leaned back.

"I'm a genius if you've somehow managed to avoid that piece of information. I can build anything." She remained unimpressed, and suddenly all he wanted to do was impress her, wipe that distantly amused look off her face. He wanted her full attention. "I'm working on a study about magic and science. Another study. I have published one a while ago."

And this one was for S.H.I.E.L.D. Top secret. His glass was empty and mind was fuzzy but he realized he'd slipped up. He wasn't supposed to be this careless.

The fabric of her dress seemed to be glowing, and he had the urge to reach out and pull her closer. But he knew when a woman wanted to be touched and her body language was still cold as ice, though something like interest had crept into her expression.

"Magic?" she repeated. "As in the thing that the – aliens use?"

He nodded. Too bad he couldn't continue this conversation, especially not in this contition. He would've loved to explain his ideas to someone who was genuenly interested, but he was sworn to secrecy. He reached in his pocket and messaged Jarvis as he got up.

"I'm sorry Miss-"

"Lana," she said and reached out her had. He took it.

She was stronger than he'd expected, but her hand felt soft in his. As if she was trained in something, martial arts, boxing – hell, maybe it was just gymnastics, he'd dated a few of those and they were seriously frightening - but also took good care of her hands. And now he was thinking about doing gymnasts in his bed. About Lana in his bed, about whether she was flexible or not.

"I'm sorry Miss Lana, but duty calls. I gotta be on my way now."

"If you count sleeping as a duty," she said. There was that something in her eyes again, like flickering green flames. "You're too hammered to even think about working."

"You don't know me," he said. He managed to walk away rather gracefully, through the crowd and to his car that was waiting outside.

When he got home he was so tired that he felt like he might pass out any minute, but he had this wonderful idea so he forced himself to head to his workshop instead of the bedroom.

Next morning he woke from the floor of his workshop, his computers open and a hologram model of a new version of the device the middle of it. After exploring his drunken creation he had to admit that there was a possibility that it was the answer to his problem.

...

After working on the device for a two days he'd apparently made Pepper worried, and she forced him to come out of his corner in the Avengers Tower to eat with her.

"I just wanted you to pay for my food," she said, laughing, as they sat at a nearby hamburger bar. Tony loved their burgers, had even taken Steve there once to prove that the future was a utopia. Or so he'd said back then. Honestly, nowadays it mostly felt like a dystopia.

"Obviously," he said, biting into his burger. It tasted heavenly, greasy and unhealthy. He closed his eyes and moaned. Pepper shook her head. She was still smiling but a crinkle had started appearing between her eyebrows.

"You should sleep a little," she said.

He swallowed. "I need to finish this device before there's another attack. It was pure luck that we won the last time, and we won't be getting lucky for a second time."

"Shouldn't that be SHIELD's job, not yours?" she asked.

"I can't help it that I'm smarter than them." He grinned over a mouth full of food. Pepper didn't smile. Her concern was flattering since sometimes she seemed to be the only one who cared, but it got annoying once in a while. He just wanted to have friends to have fun with, friends who smiled with him and didn't judge him for trying to do the right thing. She kept glancing at her watch.

"Are you in a hurry?" he asked. She'd already finished her meal, but he still had french fries left. She looked guilty.

"I have a date," she said. "But I could cancel it if you need me-"

Tony reached over the table and grabbed her wrist. "Pepper, relax. I want you to go, you deserve to find someone who makes you happy. You're not my mother, I can take care of myself."

She still looked conflicted.

"I'll sleep a few hours tonight if you go," he promised. She let out a little laugh.

"Can't say no to that." She kissed his cheek.

"I wanna hear all the juicy details later," he shouted after her.

"No promises," she replied before leaving the restaurant.

A smile lingered on Tony's face for a few more seconds before it faded away. He didn't feel hungry anymore and he was about to get up and pay their bill when he noticed a familiar looking back of a head.

He considered the situation for a while. He could leave before Lana noticed him if she hadn't already, or he could make his presence clear. The waiter came to ask if he was finished. 

"Actually, ask that lady over there if she would like anything to drink," he said, and the waiter left him and walked to Lana. He felt like he was making a mistake, but if he was, it was already done.

When the waiter leaned forward to speak with Lana, she turned sideways, and her gaze fell on Tony. He felt his stomach twitch in anticipation. If even Pepper was seeing someone, he should at least make an effort. Lately work had been taking all his time and dating had seemed unimportant compared to the constant threats on the population of the Earth.

Lana got up, took her glass of red wine from the desk and made her way to Tony.

"Your girlfriend left you in the middle of your date?" she asked. Wine seemed more like her usual drink than cognac, and he wondered why she'd ordered that the last time they met. Most people drank beer at the bar, but somehow she made it seem like everyone else was being vulgar, not like she was being a diva.

"Just a friend," he said. She looked as elegant as the last time they'd met, this time dressed in a black suit with a green shirt. "What is a lady like you doing in a place like this?"

"You don't know me," she said, repeating back Tony's words from the last time they met, but she looked playful. She stole a french fry from Tony's plate, dipped it in mayonnaise and studied it before she ate it as if it was a piece of questionable foreign food. She licked her fingers after she'd eaten, her tongue was sharp and pink like a cat's. Tony had to remind himself to concentrate. "I was ravenous after my day at work. I don't usually go for hamburgers."

"Please tell me you ordered the Moist Maker," Tony said. "It's like an orgasm. But better."

"Now you’ve got me curious," she said, clearly fighting back a smile. "Are you trying to lead the conversation to orgasms?"

"If you insist."

"Newspapers say you're taken," she said. The slight smirk never seemed to leave her face.

"You've been researching me?" he asked, quirking up his brow. He hadn't realized he'd left such a staying impression, but he was pleased.

"I read your study," she said. "All of them, actually. But the newest one, about magic, caught my interest. Did you consider that magic could be focused energy, which would mean it's controllable by science if you have strong enough technology?"

Tony ate another french fry to play time. That was exactly what he was currently working on, the core of his device.

"That's an interesting theory," he said once his mouth was empty again. "What did you say you do?"

"I didn't," she said. She put her wine glass on the table and leaned forward. Her lips were painted dark red, like the wine, and she smelled hypnotic, hyacinths with a hint of pine. "It's a secret."

She laughed as if it was a joke, but he still didn't know the answer. She could've been a doctor, or maybe a model trying to be mysterious. She could've been working for SHIELD. She could've been working for the enemy.

"Do you like secrets?" he asked. Her constant grin was nagging at his confidence.

"What's the pickup line? 'Wanna be my dirty little secret'?"

Tony rolled his eyes. He thought about it for a moment. He'd been tired but now that he'd been properly fed and had a beautiful woman sitting in front of him it wasn't hard to slip from his genius mode to his playboy mode. "Come to my place. I could make this the best night of your life."

"So," she said, touching her toes to his calf. "Are you leaving?" She had the audacity to laugh at his face.

"Not very original," he criticised. She was beautiful like a statue made of stone. It seemed she could never yield under anyone's touch, like she could never have even a hair out of place. He wished she'd let him strip her of her clothes and inhibitions and make her pant under him. Or on top of him – he wasn't picky.

"Neither were you," she said.

"I haven't slept for two days. What's your excuse?"

"Two days?" she said. "Must've been a hell of a party."

"I've been working," he said. His phone buzzed.

"On what?" Her voice was teasing. "A secret? New study. You could use my theory about the nature of magic. It opens a lot of new doors."

"It does," he said. "If magic was just manipulated electromagnetic radiation..."

"That meant you could weaponize it," she finished. "But you would need a stabilizer to prevent it from exploding."

He stared at her. His phone buzzed again, and he took it out. If it was SHIELD he was going to kill them.

"That is true," he said. It was Pepper. "You've been giving this a lot more thought that I have, apparently." She shrugged, possibly trying to look modest but it came out more smug than anything. "I'm sorry, I have to get this."

Pepper's date had been a mistake, and she needed someone to excuse her away from the restaurant. Him picking her up would just fuel the relationship rumors between them, but that's something they had to live with.

"That your girlfriend?" Lana asked.

"Don't have one," he said. "But I wouldn't be opposed to having your number."

"I bet you wouldn't."

Her smile was on the verge of being threatening so he gave up and went to pay the bill. He felt a hand in his back pocket, and automatically turned around. It was Lana.

He'd been right; she was few inches taller than him, and he wasn't sure what to make of it. She pressed her lips on his neck so quickly that it was just a brush, but he could feel chills spreading from where her lips had touched his skin, and before he knew she was gone, only her scent lingering behind.

He found her number tucked inside his back pocket, elegant handwriting on the other side of a napkin. He smiled, and felt the chills travel through his spine again just from thinking about what they could be doing later – later that day, later that week, even if he had to wait until the end of the month it would be worth it. All the way driving to Pepper he couldn't stop imagining what Lana would feel like trapped under him, riding him, bent over a kitchen table. His mind was foggy and full of her, and he wanted to fuck her as soon as possible to get her out of his system.

...

Even after a full night's sleep he hadn’t had any progress with the device and Tony was getting frustrated. He was furiously tapping at the holograms on his pad, reorganizing things and ranting to Jarvis. Sadly Jarvis was his creation, so he didn't really offer another perspective to his work. If only he had a working partner... Bruce was nice to work with, but his field was still more the biological side of things than the technologhy.

He could of course go bother one of the Avengers or call Pepper and hope that by talking to them he'd come up with something, but he didn't want to disturb them. Since there had been an attack they'd had very little time for themselves with mandatory meetings with Fury, training, and their personal missions. Plus, he was pretty sure Steve and Bucky wanted to use their free time to work on their new relationship, Thor was either hanging out with his girlfriend and her crew or in Asgard, and Natasha and Clint were probably working on some Fury's super secret mission since they weren't currently at the tower. Tony was still pretty shocked that Steve had found his long lost boyfriend before Natasha and Clint admitted their feelings for each other. Him and Bucky had a bet about who was going to kiss the other first.

It was still kind of weird for him sometimes, the person who killed his parents being one of their team, but he'd accepted it a while ago that it hadn't really been Bucky who did it, but the Winter Soldier. Besides, he liked his sense of humor.

He realized he'd been scrolling through his contacts while he was thinking, and now Lana's name shone on the screen of his phone. He hesitated.

She had seemed to understand a lot, and could possibly be helpful in finalizing the machine’s design. She just shouldn't know what she was doing.

"Jarvis?" he asked.

"Yes, sir?"

"I have a horrible idea that Fury would probably kill me for," he said.

"I'm guessing I can't talk you out of it?" Jarvis asked. Sometimes he wondered why the AI needed to have such a voice that made every remark seem like dry sarcasm.

"Thank you." He grinned. "I knew you'd appreciate."

He pressed call. The phone beeped three times before Lana picked up.

"I thought you'd lost my number in the washing machine," she said as a greeting.

"Totally could've happened," he said. "How reckless of you."

"Reckless is my middle name, Stark," she said.

"Reckless enough to go on a date with me right now?"

"Right now? Aren't you eager."

"Aliens have been keeping me busy lately. Just thought that I should enjoy my life before they take over it entirely."

"Well, I am flattered. Where do we meet?"

"I can pick you up if you give your address."

"Or I can remain a mystery and we can meet in front of the expensive restaurant you're taking me to."

Tony laughed, even though he was disappointed at yet another lost chance to find out some of her secrets. "Meet me at Le Bernardin nine o'clock. Dress nicely."

"I'm surprised that you want me to dress at all."

"I'm a gentleman," Tony said in a mock offended voice. "What kind of man did you think I am?"

"I know what kind of man you are," she purred. "See you tonight." She hung up before he could say anything.

Tony took his time getting ready, he showered and picked his best suit and an ironed shirt, and added a green tie since it seemed to be Lana's favourite color. He trimmed his beard and combed his hair, but a faint hint of a bruise from the last battle remained on his cheek. He didn't heal like Thor, Captain America or the Hulk. They were all divine creatures, while he was just a human in a suit of armor. Genious, Billionare, Playboy and philantrophist sure, but he wasn't really a superhero without all his tech. Sometimes that made him feel out of place in the team, but he tried not to think about it too much. Hide it with a bursting ego that kept others from noticing his pain. Usually. Sometimes. At least the public paid it and SHIELD didn't care as long as he was able to fight.

He couldn't really do much to the bruise so he got his car, and drove to the retaurant, arriving exactly at nine. She was already there, standing in front of the restaurant wrapped in grey fur, high heels making her almost a head taller than Tony. A dark green dress was showing from under all the fur.

"What's it with you and green?" he asked as they entered the restaurant together.

"It compliments my eyes."

"How am I supposed to flirt with you when you do it yourself?"

She bared her teeth in a mischievous smile. "Try harder."

Their conversation flowed easily, she ordered the most expensive meal from the list but ended up eating mostly from Tony's plate since she didn't like hers. Tony rolled his eyes.

They didn't even get to the subject of science before dessert, too busy with their flirty banter. Her unapologetic nature intrigued him, often when women tried to hide their desire for Tony's money it was exactly what they were after. For Lana the golddigger persona seemed to be more like a game, and he wondered if she'd grown up in a wealthy family as well.

There was something else in her that made Tony want to dig deeper. She used the same sarcastic defences than he did whenever they neared a personal subject, jumping back to magic or Tony's latest inventions. Those were the moments when Tony got out most information that could be useful for his work, but also he started realizing just how much he wanted to figure her out.

The bill was high but he didn't really have to even look at it – money he had, and if spending a little could make Lana smile her slow, teasing smile even once more than usual it was totally worth it.

They left the restaurant and entered the night, Lana was hanging from Tony's arm even though she was so much taller it was almost comical. Her laugh echoed in the night.

The shops they passed were closing or closed already, but suddenly Lana stopped and Tony turned to see the reason. They were standing in front of a huge candy shop, the window was showing off candyworms, marshmallows shaped like every imaginable cute thing, fudges, chocolates, and lollipops in all shades of the rainbow. Lana's eyes were full of wonder.

"Do you want to buy sweets?" he asked. He was already stuffed from their meal, but he'd never say no to sweets. When he'd been little he'd claimed that they went to a different stomach than the main courses, and he still somewhat believed that. At least the sweets made his mouth water if not his stomach crumble.

"I've never eaten Mid– that kind of sweets," she said quickly. "I don't eat much candy."

"You've never eaten that kind of sweets?" he repeated, not entirely sure what she'd meant. He'd expected an explatation, but for some reason she seemed to close off. He wrapped his arm around her waist, and pulled her to the door. "I'm gonna buy you that kind of sweets."

She looked adorable. He'd never seen the look in her face, pure childish wonder. It was as if the cold femme fatale mask had melted off, if only for a minute.

Tony knocked on the door, and when it wasn't opened he knocked harder. The shop was closed, but he could still see the owner inside, and he wouldn't leave without giving Lana the candy she wanted.

Finally, the grumpy old man opened the door. "We're closed."

"I'm Iron Man," Tony said, feeling cocky. Lana giggled which boosted up his confidence. "I'll pay you extra. My girl wants sweets so she gets them."

He eyed them up and down, but let them in and turned on the lights. "Can you take a picture with me? My grandson will be thrilled."

"Or jealous," Lana suggested. She'd gotten a scoop and a bag, and she was filling it at quite the speed.

"Or both," Tony said, and hugged her from behind. He had to get on his tiptoes to rest his chin on her shoulder. "Take the yellow ones. I love the yellow ones."

Fifteen minutes later, they exited the shop with five pounds of candy, laughing as they walked on. Lana had at first nibbled every sweet before putting it in her mouth, but now apparently having decided that she liked sugar she was just stuffing them in her mouth.

They must've been a sight. Two adults holding a huge bag of sweets, leaning on each other and laughing at each other and the world.

He bought an entire theatre for the two of them, because they'd gotten the whim of going to the movies. They were high on sugar and each other and the movie – some popular romantic comedy – sucked and he played with cliches and touched her hand while she was taking candy from the bag. She took a yellow one between her thumb and forefinger, and grinned at him. He bought her hand to his lips and ate the sour candy, her fingers against his lips sending thrills through his body. He kissed her palm, knuckles, wrist. She was soft and delicate, but not fragile. Her skin was cold against his, as she pressed it against his cheek.

She stroked him, and he wanted to lean into the touch. He reached his other hand to her neck, feeling the weight of all her hair, sliding his fingers into it. He slowly pulled her closer, eyes locked until hers fell on his lips and he felt a rush of heat all over and couldn't hold back anymore. He pressed their lips together and parted his to let her lower lip in his mouth. Her lips were chilly too, she tasted sweet and sour. He wanted to kiss some warmth into them.

His other hand fell from her shoulder, lower, until he covered her breast with it gently, feeling the line between skin and fabric. She must've been wearing a lace bra because he could feel the outline of her nipple under his hand. He wanted to slip his hand inside, feel her breast in his hand, wanted to have her naked and riding him on the seat. His stomach muscles kept clenching and unclenching, he was already half hard.

She moved from her seat to sit on top of him, and started lifting her skirt. Something in the kiss changed, she started pressing harder and with more desperation, but the sensuality was gone. Tony gently showed her away.

"We can take it slow," he said, drawing calming circles on her back with his fingertips and trying to quieten his own mind.

"I thought Tony Stark wanted it preferably yesterday," she said with a wicked grin, suddenly all cold and sarcastic like the first time they'd met.

"But what do you want?" he asked.

For a minute, she seemed genuinely surprised, as if her past lovers had never cared to ask what gave her pleasure. He felt a twitch of anger towards whoever that had made her like this.

"Does it really matter?"

"It matters," he said intensively. "Sex is about enjoying yourself, not pleasing others. I wouldn't enjoy it if I wasn't sure you enjoyed it as much as I did."

She looked puzzled. "Not everyone cares."

He wrapped both his arms around her and pressed her to his chest, hoping to transfer some body warmth to her. His body was disappointed that they wouldn't be fucking tonight, but he could never have her when she was like this.

A loud ring startled them both.

"Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck,"  _ Tony swore, staring at Fury's name on his phone screen. He never called unless something was about to explode very soon. He hated him for calling right now, but he'd hate himself even more if innocents died just because he was thinking with his dick. "Boss calling. I'm so sorry."

She nodded in understanding and got up from on top of him. He got on his feet too, and they left the theatre just as the couple from the movie was having a teary reunion. Lana was hugging the bag of candy to her chest.

_ I thought you were cheating on me, _ the female lead said.  _ I wish you'd just asked me who I was speaking to, _ the man answered.  _ It just didn't cross my mind you'd call your mum love, _ she said. They kissed. Tony snorted and answered the phone.

"I'm in the middle of a fucking date," he said.

"Cancel it. Another alien attack came out of nowhere. The rest of the team is already fighting."

"Fuck," Tony said. "I'll be there."

Lana's eyes were full of strange concern, and her eyebrows were knitted together.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"I'm really sorry, but I have to go. Aliens are at it again."

"Aliens?" she sounded shocked. "But..."

Tony rushed out of the building, Lana storming behind. "They need me there. I'd love to do this again if I, and the world, survive today."

"Me too," she said, but seemed distracted. "Thanks for the candy."

He pressed a quick kiss on her lips, but then he got in the car and pushed a button on his seat. He watched as the metal pieces started closing on him, feeling strangely relieved – finally he could do something useful. When he was inside the suit, saving people, he felt like he was making amends for all those years of selling weapons to the wrong people.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, im so sorry this took over a week, i didn't have time to publish this on tuesday, and yesterday i just forgot. Anyway, here it is finally, enjoy!

When Tony arrived, everyone else was already absorbed in the battle, fighting under Steve's command just like any other time, though this time felt different. The Sovereign attackers were making a mess and blowing up things, but it felt less organized than the first time they had attacked. Something was up.

"Thor, can you hear me?" he asked through the comms.

The god was flying in the sky, waving his hammer like a flag. He needed him, or more specifically his hammer, if they were going to activate his invention. This time, he hoped, it would actually turn off the attackers' motors without further incidents. Last time the electrical impulse had affected the Sovereigns motors, but also turned off electricity in NYC for ten hours. But that mark had been assembled in the heat of the battle.

He shot at one golden space car, giving it his full attention so when he noticed another flying towards at full speed him from behind it was already too late. He blasted off the other car, but the other hit him and he was thrown into a wall. The monitors in his suit went crazy for a while, and after he gathered himself a bit he realized that his backplate was hanging loose. He thrust his hands forward, ready to shoot at the space car clearly getting ready to taze him into a melted puddle of iron, but the system screamed error and nothing came out of his blasters.

"Shit," he said. "Shit, shit, shit, Jarvis, what do we do now?"

"I'm checking the-"

The car flashed, glazing rays flying out of it and he tried to cover with his hands, already preparing for the worst, but instead the spacecar blew into a million pieces. Only scraps from the explosion fell on him, bouncing harmlessly off his armor.

He looked around to see which one of his friends he had to thank for saving his life, but they were all too far away, fighting their respective opponents. There was no one, no explanation for the space car blowing up but that was exactly what had happened.

At least Thor had finally answered his call.

"Stark! Are you hurt?" he asked, and bashed a Sovereign attacker out of the way while flying closer to him.

"Nothing I can't handle," he said. It was true. Probably. "We need to get to the tower so we can activate the pulse. Follow me."

Jarvis had started the spare engine so that he could lead them to the Avengers tower and his workshop. He watched as Thor easily placed Mjolnir into the device, and couldn't help a little twitch of envy. Thor was everything a man was supposed to be – he was huge, good looking, deadly in a battle and gentle with his lover. He laughed easily and darkness seemed to have never touched him. He sometimes made mistakes in his shortsightedness, but he was genuine and good and he didn't get paralyzing panic attacks. His own mind didn't turn against him, and god, that guy was _worthy_ , something that Tony could never even dream to be.

Sometimes, looking at Thor, he could momentarily get why Loki had had so much pain inside him, enough to turn him bitter and evil. To have your ideal be someone who you could never be, well… Tony knew something about that. The wrong push at the wrong time, and Tony might've been the one blowing things up.

"How do we turn this thing on?" Thor asked. "I would like my hammer back before the Sovereign reaches here."

Tony fiddled with the buttons for a moment, praying to a God he didn't believe in - any god. But now that he knew the universe was filled with the strangest beings he thought that maybe there was a change that someone would hear him. He envied Steve too, sometimes, for having such unwavering belief in a righteous Christian God. Even though it did seem a little silly to him.

"Now we hope and beg and pray very hard," Tony said, his heart beating a little louder. There was a thunderclap, Mjolnir was sending little lightning bolts all around, and then the lights went off. Tony felt the pulse in his suit, and it was like his heart had turned a full circle in his chest. The lights flickered back on.

"Did it work?" Thor asked.

"Steve?" Tony said into the comm.

"They've stopped. In the middle of the air, just hanging there. It's amazing!" Steve sounded out of breath but besides that just fine. Tony was relieved.

"You can take your hammer now," Tony said, and Thor pulled Mjolnir out of the machine and lifted it up before flying away. Tony called a new suit, and then flew after him.

It was an easy fight after that: the Sovereign's power relied on their technology, and once it was disabled, they fled by any means they could. All the team had to do was some cleanup. In the end they were all standing in a circle looking up at the last Sovereign warrior escaping, perfect for the cover of the next New York Times.

"Who wants pizza?" Clint asked after they were sure no aliens were left. They all did. It had became kind of a tradition, them going to get some fast food together after a successful mission

They ate in silence, too hungry to speak, and Bucky was the first to finish. Tony was close second, even though Thor claimed it had been him since Natasha stole a piece of Tony's pizza. They got into an argument which only the two of them took seriously – the others were laughing, rooting for either of them. Finally Bucky got bored of their banter.

"I'm the winner so I get to decide who was the second," he said. Tony and Thor leaned closer.

"I saved you from that blast today," Thor said eagerly.

"Don't forget that the bed you fuck your boyfriend on is paid by me," Tony said, enjoying the blush that spread on Steve's cheeks.

"I won't. The winner is-" Bucky stopped for dramatic effect, and then grinned slowly. "Steve Rogers!"

Tony rolled his eyes, Natasha and Clint howled in laughter so the rest of them joined too. Bucky pressed his mouth against Steve's earlobe, and whispered: "'Cause I'm with you till the end of the line." Steve laughed, and turned his head so they were kissing, or at least laughing into each other’s mouths. He still had a slice of pizza on his plate.

Tony hadn't meant to stare, but his eyes were glued on the couple of super-soldiers. He wondered how Bucky’s stubble felt against the Steve's face, did it feel good or unpleasant, was it a constant reminder that he was kissing a man or did he even think about it anymore.

He didn't need to wonder how Steve's clean shaved face and plump lips felt against Bucky's, because he'd experienced it once before. They'd been partying, both of them pretty drunk and Steve had jokingly pulled Tony on the dance floor. He hadn't been planning anything, but suddenly their mouths had been so close to each other, and he remembered thinking – _why not?_ To this day he still wasn't sure which of them had moved forward first, he liked to blame Steve, because, which one of them was  proven to like men? But he still wasn't sure. He'd grown up both admiring and hating Captain America, and while he now knew he had no romantic feelings for Steve he couldn't deny that he was _'the prettiest piece of ass in star spangled suit'_ like Bucky liked to put it. Though maybe he was a little too bulky for Tony's tastes after all.

"- and when Gunnar found out she'd been Loki all along, he was furious!" Thor ended, apparently having been telling some story while Tony had been busy staring at Steve and Bucky.

"Because he'd been dating a man?" Bucky asked. He didn't seem to be amused by Thor's story, which confused the demigod.

"No! Didn't you listen? She swore that 'as long as my body remains the same that it is in your arms' she'd marry him. Well, as a man, Loki wasn't the same she'd been in his arms! That's why he was furious. Since that, Loki has been making sure to never be female in his company."

"Oh," Bucky said, and now he seemed bemused. "Doesn't it bother you then that your brother dates men?"

"Of course not!" Thor said. He stole Clint's last forgotten piece of pizza, but seemed sad as he bit into it. He spoke the next words rather to his plate than the rest of the team. "It bothers me that he was never honest with me, and that after all those years of fighting side by side he still was ready to turn on me. I wish I could've trusted him. But he died an honorable death."

"Why did he trick – uh, that fella," Tony asked. He hadn't been listening to the story, but it felt strange to think Loki wouldn't have had an agenda for doing such a thing. He'd only met him once, but from what he'd gathered from Thor's stories, he wasn't as illogical as the other Avengers made him out to be.

"I guess she thought it was funny," he said, shrugging. "It's – it was – hard to know what he was trying to accomplish with everything. He's not really like other Asgardians that way."

Steve started speaking about some new series he and Bucky had gotten into – Tony had taught them to use Netflix and now they were both obsessed. Tony joined the conversation when they talked about something he had seen, but somehow Thor managed to talk more even though Tony wasn't even sure if he really knew what Netflix was.

...

Later that night, when Tony had planned to get some midnight snacks from the fridge he saw Natasha and Clint on the couch, talking in hushed voices while Clint massaged Natasha's shoulders. She looked relaxed, and the fact that she was letting him touch her so intimately was a sign of deep trust.

He felt a pinch of jealousy. Not for either of them in general; he found Nat attractive and had even tried to hit on her when they first met, but now the thought of being with her physically just repulsed him. Well, mostly. Like, sixty four percent, at least.

What they had, the bond, was what made him jealous. He wished he had someone who he could trust entirely, someone who loved him unconditionally, someone who was ready to stand up to authority for him like Clint had for Natasha, like Steve had for Bucky.

Suddenly, he wasn't hungry anymore.

He turned back to his room, fished his phone out of his pocket and called Lana.

She didn't answer.

He told himself it didn't matter – it was the middle of the night, she was probably sleeping. He took a glass of whiskey and locked himself in his workshop, tinkering with the device, since it had partially burned from Mjolnir's lightning.

Lana didn't call him the next morning. He didn't try again. He worked the next day, and slept only when he passed out on his bench. Pepper found him like that, with takeout in her hands.

"You're an angel. What would I do without you?" he said.

"You'd die," she said matter of factly. "Eat, and then go to sleep on your own bed. Much better for your back."

"Yes," he said. He took the takeout food from her hand, and reached for his phone. His disappointment must've shown on his face, since she lifted her eyebrows.

"Waiting for an important call?" she asked.

"Mhmm," he said, mouth full of tikka masala.

"A woman?"

"Mhmmm."

"You haven't told me anything."

He swallowed. "I wasn't sure how serious we were. Apparently not that serious."

"Why don't you call her?"

"I did. She doesn't answer."

"Maybe she just isn't interested."

"Maybe," he said. Lana's smile when he'd fed her a bright green candy flashed behind his eyelids. How her body had started to feel a degree warmer after Tony had pressed her against his side for a while. "She seemed interested."

"Call again tomorrow," she said. "Maybe a new day will shine a brighter light on everything."

"I will." He lifted his gaze to her eyes, and smiled a genuine smile. "Thank you for taking care of me. And tolerating me."

"I tolerate you because I like you," she said. "We all do here, even though I think we don't say it often enough."

Tony took her hand, and squeezed it once.

...

Lana didn't answer the next day, or the whole week, and Tony was feeling more and more anxious about the missed calls she must've been deleting from her notifications. Or what if something had happened? He didn't know her address, last name or profession. She could die, and he wouldn't know.

Tony wasn't sure whose idea it was – he suspected Pepper, but after a week of moping in his workshop, Steve broke in and threw him across his shoulder.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Caveman?" he asked. He even considered calling his armor for a moment, but then decided to just keep banging Steve's back with his fists like a child. "I don't want your assassin boyfriend to get any wrong ideas."

"We're watching a movie," he said after throwing Tony on his bed. "Change into something comfortable. And clean. We'll be waiting."

"We?" Tony asked.

"Me, Buck, Nat, Sam, Bruce, Pepper, Clint, Rhodes, Thor and Jane," he listed.

"Oh fuck you all."

"That was not the plan but if you want me to ask around -"

"Shut up, 'Merica."

Steve saluted and left Tony to search through his closet for clean pair of joggers.

He hated them even more when he heard that they were watching Frozen.

"Someone keep an eye on the super-soldiers, they might get traumatic flashbacks from all the ice," he said. Bucky laughed, and put his feet on the table. He was wearing Captain America pyjamas.

In the middle of the movie, Tony's phone started ringing. Tony couldn't help his heart beating twice as fast as before. Natasha paused the movie. Sam handed him the phone, but not before glancing the screen first.

"Lana's calling."

Tony grabbed it from him, nearly knocking over several beers as he struggled to get off of the couch.

"Ohhh, who's Lana?" asked Bucky.

"I'm guessing she's the reason we're watching this stupid movie," Natasha said.

"Hey!" Clint protested. "I like it."

"I thought the reason we're watching this was Avengers bonding time," Tony muttered. He accepted the call and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Hey Lana!" Bucky shouted. "You better start treating our man better or you have bunch of assassins trying to get you." He only stopped when Steve poked his side and he couldn't get a word out between giggles. Tony closed the door between them.

"You told your friends about me?" she asked, voice cold and seductive. He wanted to crack her shell again, to get even a glimpse of what he saw a week ago before Fury and aliens ruined everything. Mostly Fury.

"Oh yeah," he said. "All I've been talking about for the whole week is how much I'm pining after you."

He craved to hear her laugh, but not the fake one he heard from the other end of the line.

"They saw my name on the phone screen, didn’t they," she said.

"But I did miss you, L."

"Now I even get a nickname? I almost feel bad for avoiding you all week."

"And why was that?"

"I needed to figure out some... things."

"And now you have."

"Yes. We should meet."

"To get the  _ 'it's not you it's me' _ speech? I'd rather hear it right now and get it over with. Time is money, love."

"If I was about to leave you, I would never blame myself, idiot. I'm asking you out on a date."

"Thank gods I'm worthy of your attention."

"All the gods?" She sounded amused.

"Yes. Well, no. Not sure if the god of lies likes me. Though he apparently is dead – I wonder what happens to gods after they die."

"Why would you think so?"

"He did try to kill me the last time we met, but apart from that it was just a shot in the dark. Who knows, really."

She laughed, but it sounded forced. Like she was stressed. He wanted to ask if she was alright, tell her that it would be okay to open up. He didn't.

"Well then, Stark," she said. "Will you go out with me?"

"Obviously. Tomorrow. Five o'clock fine with you?"

"Have I made you mad, darling?" she said playfully, but it was hollow. The entire conversation was, she sounded as cold as her skin had felt before Tony held her tightly. He wanted to strip her naked and touch her under blankets until she was burning hot, melting on him. "Last time you were so eager to see me."

"I am currently attending a superhero pyjama party," he told her. The others were apparently getting restless due to his endless phone call, because they were getting noisy. Wouldn't take long until someone broke something. That someone most likely being Bucky.

"I've never been to a pyjama party," she confessed, clearly going for an arrogant tone, but it came out kind of sad. It made him wonder why. Hadn't she had any friends growing up? He'd never been to a pyjama party before Avengers either. He'd had some friends at the MIT academy, but it was mostly just a bunch of kids teaming together and pretending they knew what friendship meant. They had discussed science, competed against each other, even played the occasional game of football, but that was it. No sharing secrets, god forbid talking about feelings. Rhodey was the only friend from those days who had stayed.

But, he guessed, that was the case for most of their group. They were a bunch of loners. Steve and Bucky had had each other, but nothing else. Thor was the only one of them whose childhood hadn't left him with mental scars, and even he had a little brother go evil, so everything couldn't have been sugar and spice and everything nice in the house of Odin.

"Trust me, you haven't missed anything," he said. Natasha ran past him, Thor a few feet behind. He jumped and flew through the air to where Natasha had just stood.

"We agreed you wouldn't use your superpowers!" she shouted, hanging from the lamp.

"You're too fast!" he roared in answer.

"Did Thor get affected by gamma rays?" Tony asked.

"We're playing tag," Thor explained. "It's very fun, for a Midgardian game."

"What's going on?" Lana asked, for the first time during the phone call showing actual emotion, even if it was just confusion.

"Avengers don't know how to adult," Tony answered.

"Who does?" she asked. "Have fun. See you tomorrow."

He did have fun. They finished the movie, and since he knew he'd be meeting Lana tomorrow he was much cheerier for the rest of the evening. They played Alias, then they started drinking and wanted to try cards against humanity, since none of them had ever played it. Tony had the cards delivered to them in ten minutes.

The game was funny, but even funnier was how horrified Steve was by it. Tony's cheeks hurt from laughing so much.

...

Tony had cleared the whole Avengers Tower of curious pairs of eyes and ears when Lana arrived. She was wearing a black, short dress, and a necklace that reminded him of bondage-inspired laces kids nowadays wore around their necks, but it was heavier and made of gold. It was more like a collar than a choker, and it made sinful images appear in the back of his head. He resisted the urge to adjust himself in his boxers.

When they arrived the main floor of the tower, she made her way to the window with a view over the city. He went to his bar desk, and took out a carafe.

"Drink?" he asked lifting the carafe.

She turned to him slowly, and with the city behind her, he for a moment felt like he'd seen a ghost. But Loki had died, it had been years when he'd attacked Tony right here and when Lana came closer the differences became more apparent.

"Thank you," she said. Her smile was warm, nothing like the manic grin of Loki's. She stepped out of her heels and moved towards him softly, like a cat in need for attention. Loki's face had been twisted somehow, not that he remembered exactly how the other man looked anymore, but that sort of evil must leave a permanent mark, right? "Wine, if you have it."

"Of course." Tony poured himself a whiskey, and then took a tall glass and poured Lana red wine. Her nails were emerald green, which made the paleness of her skin stand out.

They sat on the couch, side to side.

"Where are you from?" Tony asked her. She sipped her wine, letting the glass linger on her mouth way too long.

"Not here."

"British? You kinda sound British."

"I'm not trying to make you guess."

"Fine." Tony reached out his hand, and brushed hair out of her face. It was soft, and he slowly stroked it, touched her cheek with just one finger, then her chin, and finally her lips. He leaned closer and pressed his nose to the crook of her neck. She smelled of flowers and ice. She lifted her chin, revealing the marble arch of her throat, and Tony brushed his lips against her skin. He made his way up and down, barely touching her skin, and stopped when he felt her artery under his lips. He wanted to bite and leave marks, but that was for some other day. He pulled away.

"Who hurt you?" he asked. She tensed, and opened her eyes slowly.

"I've never been taken against my will," she said.

"Then you've been giving out yesses too easily."

For a minute it seemed like she was going to be angry, but then her face melted to a neutral expression. "I may have been too reckless with my body," she said. "I would prefer to see it as merely a tool for my mind."

He took her hand, and kissed it, four times, once for every knuckle. Her presence was radiant, he felt like everything was glowing.

"But it isn't."

"Unfortunately." Her eyes followed him curiously when he put down her hand, and took the other between his to kiss. "I have a b – sister. She's like the Sun. Everybody loves hi – her. I loved her, and I wanted to be her more than anything. Not just because I loved her, but because father always seemed to see what she did, and never what I did."

"Was she ever mean to you?" he asked. He was now just holding her hand, listening. What she was telling sounded way too familiar, struggling to be someone you could never become.

"Not on purpose," Lana said, her expression clouded. "She is good. She lives to keep people happy and satisfied, and often she does it well, but sometimes she is just so blatantly ignorant."

"Yes," he just said.

"Yes?"

"My father called me his greatest creation," he said.

"Oh?"

"In a film that I saw years after his death," he explained. "Before that, I thought he was ashamed of me. I still do."

"You know better, but you can't help feeling like you're dirty somehow?" Lana's eyes were fierce. He nodded.

"Inadequate," he confirmed.

"Always the second choice."

Lana had leaned closer, and she held onto the front of Tony's shirt.

"I won all the awards for young geniuses," Tony said. "He never said he was proud of me for taking after him."

"My father prided in being both a warrior and a scholar. I read through his library, I knew all about the politics he was trying to teach to T – my sister. He was proud of her for being strong, but never of me for being smart."

Tony pulled her chin up so that they were looking eye to eye.

"Who are you?" he asked.

There was real pain in her eyes. They seemed to glimmer a little more than usual, as if they were watery. "I wish I could be yours," she whispered. When she closed her eyes, a tear fell out.

"You can," he answered, shocked by how serious he was being. She shook her head, and her black hair was all over him. He placed his hands gently on her waist and the small of her back.

"I wish I could."

Then she kissed him, stopping any argument he could've made.

Her mouth was soft and her cheeks wet, their lips barely touching at first. Tony felt like he could drown into her, like she was the sea and he just a lonely sailor. She was a force of nature and he had caught himself in the eye of a hurricane, on the beach before a tidal wave. He didn't know why, but he felt like he was getting sucked into something unhealthy, that she was a natural disaster.

They pulled away to catch breath, just for a second, and he felt himself being sucked back in by her eyes. They dropped back to his lips, wanting, and then they were kissing again. Her tongue was sliding in his mouth and he was unable to pull away anymore, as if they were physically attached.

"Hey Tony do we have – wow." Steve stopped aruptly.

"I'm sorry Sir, I tried to warn him," Jarvis said.

"Excuse me if I didn't realize you'd be fucking your girlfriend on the couch."

Tony slowly pulled off Lana, who looked like a deer caught on headlights.

"We're wearing all of our clothes."

Steve looked over them. "She isn't wearing much," he said. "Kids these days."

"We're – I'm older than you," he said pointing at Steve accusingly, then turned to Lana, who was combing her hair with her fingers. He felt pretty smug about having messed it so thoroughly. "How old are you."

"Older than him," she said. She didn't look like she'd been crying anymore.

"Biologically," Steve said. Lana chuckled.

"Whatever you say grandpa," Tony said. "What was so important that you felt the need to cockblock me?"

"Waffles," he said. "I was going to ask if we have the ingredients to make waffles."

Tony lifted his eyebrows, and glanced to Lana. "Unbelievable. The old guy interrupted us for waffles."

Lana laughed. "I should probably go."

"Don't let me bother you," Steve said, going through the fridge and taking out milk and eggs, and then attacking the dry cabinets. "I'm not even here."

"Your presence is woefully noticeable," Lana said, and got up. She had clearly decided to leave.

"I'll walk you out," Tony offered. She seemed to consider it, and then she nodded.

When they were passing Tony's workshop she stopped, and peeked through the window. His device was in the middle of the room, surrounded with currently dead screens and tables full of his newest inventions and tools.

"Is this where you work?" she asked.

"When I'm not blowing up the bad guys."

There was admiration and curiosity in her eyes. He still didn't know who she was, and her talk about her father being a warrior should probably been a huge red flag for him, but he had never known what was best for him. "Wanna see?"

"If it's no trouble," she said.

"I certainly hope so." He swiped his card and entered the workshop, Lana on his heels. He'd never shown it to his hookups, but Lana wasn't a normal hookup. Wasn't even a hookup yet.

The screens lit up at his order, and she seemed fascinated. He made sure no classified information was on view, and while she was shaping a hologram in total awe, he sneaked to the device and threw a blanket over it.

"This is like magic," she said, holding a perfect hologram of Tony's head on her hand.

"How'd you do that?" he asked, thrown back. She swirled the hologram around, shaping its shoulders.

"Isn't that what this technology is meant for?" she asked.

"Yes – well, no, not  _ that _ exactly. It just shouldn't be that easy."

"Oh." She said and grinned. He typed the command to the screen, and turned in time to see the holo-Tony throw a kiss at her. He was quite sure her cheeks turned a shade pinker, but he could've been imagining. And the lighting was pretty weird.

"What was the machine you just hid?" she asked, dropping the holo-Tony.

"Classified." He said. He was itching to explain it to her because he had the feeling she'd understand and actually appreciate the mechanics. SHIELD was happy as long as it defended the earth, but no one but Bruce actually cared about how things worked. And even Bruce wasn't a mechanic, he was a biochemist, and they didn't always speak the same foreign language as Steve claimed they did.

"Does it have something to do with all the Sovereign aircrafts stopping mid air?" she asked. "It would need a powerful energy source. I can't think of anything that would have enough energy."

"Lucky we aren't limited to just earthly energy sources." He'd already said too much. "Stop prodding or I'll have to kill you."

"You wouldn't kill me, Stark," she said, and placed her palms against his chest. She walked forward, pushing him along until his back hit a wall. "But you could always punish me."

She kissed him hard, slid her leg between his and suddenly her hands were all over him. He moaned into her mouth, grabbed her ass and tried to pull her closer. She broke the kiss and stepped back.

"But not today."

She walked away.

"Jarvis, see her out," he said, panting.

"Will do, Sir."

...

The next morning Tony awakened to the sound of all his alarms blaring, and a half naked super-soldier screaming at him. He was on his feet and half armored before he'd even properly woken up.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"The Sovereign, they're here," Steve yelled as Jarvis said in his ever so calm voice: "They're currently trying to infiltrate this building. They've triggered all the alarms."

Steve pulled the rest of his Captain America suit on and ran away with a shield on his arm. Tony didn't believe in the naive ideal of American Dream, but seeing Steve in action always made him eager to fight for his country. Maybe the scientists had been right. Or maybe it was just purely Steve.

Tony flew after him. No damage or fighting in the halls. There was a not so distant sound of gunshots fired from both normal and laser weapons, and he flew out of the window and to the rooftop.

Thor was surrounded by at least twenty spacecars, a lot, even for him. Hulk was smashing the villains, but mostly the buildings, doing three times more damage than the attackers. Tony tried to make his way to Thor, since they needed Mjolnir in his workshop more than here, but the aliens surrounded him immediately. He blasted at one of them, but it disappeared and the energy burst missed Clint by an inch. Something green flew through the air, and it was far too grateful to be Hulk.

Tony blasted at another alien, and this time it hit the target. Thor was so surrounded by lighting and thunder that Tony barely saw him.

He called his robotic Iron Men to fight beside them, but there were only ten of them. He blasted, hit, kicked and got shot by various weapons.

This attack was fundamentally different from the last time. Now they seemed to be fighting with purpose, trying to get into the Avengers Tower. It made sense, it was the base of a lot of the tech, the Avenger nest. They finally had a good strategy, but it was as if a different person was behind this attack than the last one.

One thing he didn't understand was why were they suddenly concentrating so much on Thor. He was a powerful enemy, yes, but Hulk was possibly even more dangerous, and the rest of them had been doing nearly as much damage as him. And by killing Tony, they'd get rid of the brain behind the tech, but he wasn't sure if they knew that.

But they certainly knew something, something that they hadn't known the last time. A yellow spacecar tried to slip into the building, and as Tony attacked it another tried its luck. If he didn't know all his teammates as well as he did, he'd say they'd been betrayed by someone inside.

Flash of green, and Tony flew after it, grabbed it and found himself rolling hundred miles per hour with none other than Loki, somehow alive. They hit a wall. It shook and sprinkled sawdust on top of them.

Tony's first reaction was to strangle the god, before even questioning how he was alive. Was he an illusion? But weren't illusions Loki's department anyway?

"Nice to meet you again," Loki said, and something on his voice made Tony's stomach twist and curl, drop like he'd been on a too fast roller coaster. His eyes were green, framed with dark eyelashes, a straight nose-

"Loki," was all he could say, he wasn't sure what his mind was doing, he shut it out and hit him, wanting to break his pretty face because it seemed strangely – he hit him again, if he reshaped it it wouldn't be the same, but his face didn't break, his nose got just a scratch.

Tony attacked with full force, full of anger that he couldn't explain, didn't care to explain, this was the man behind his panic attacks and his lack of sleep, this man needed to die and he didn't need another reason for that bursting anger he felt.

When Thor arrived, having got a surge of energy to fight off all the aliens after hearing his little brother's name. Tony was beating Loki on the floor, and even though his face was already bloodied Loki was doing very little to fight him off. Thor threw him out of the way, as if he was the one who had destroyed the city  _ twice _ .

"BROTHER!" Thor bellowed and fell on his knees next to Loki.

"He's one of the bad guys," Tony reminded him. " _ The _ bad guy actually."

There were tears on Thor's face, but he placed the Mjolnir on his little brother's chest as he was trying to get up. He collapsed back on the floor, struggling under the hammer.

"I watched you die!" Thor shouted through his tears. "I mourned, again. I felt even more alone than the last time, with both you and our mother gone."

Thor took Loki's face in his hands, but he still didn't say anything. If Tony hadn't heard him talking earlier, he'd have thought that he couldn't.

"ANSWER ME BROTHER!"

Thor was spreading into the air around him, seeming bigger, more powerful in his rage. Loki shrunk into himself, looking smaller, fragile. His horned helmet had fallen to the floor during Tony's beating, his face was blank of any emotion.

Another alien tried to get in, but retreated as she saw Loki lying on the floor. Another attacked, and Thor fought him off, Tony took the next.

"I need to retrieve chains that can hold him from Asgard," he said. "Until I return, you need to hold them off without my help. Don't worry about my brother, he won't be able to move."

He granted Loki one final glance before he flew off the building. Tony didn't. He took off after him, shutting Loki entirely off his mind and giving himself fully into the fight until Thor returned.

Loki still didn't speak when they took him away to a temporary SHIELD cell. Tony left. He wanted to be alone, for no apparent reason. There was no fast food this time, at least not for him and Thor. They both disappeared to be alone in their separate places.

Tony beat a boxing bag until his knees gave out from exhaustion, and he couldn't get back up anymore. He had to call his suit to carry him to bed.

…

Tony was in space. He visited there often in his dreams nowadays, but this time it was different. The space wasn't cold and dangerous and he wasn't falling. The colors surrounding him were shades of purple, black and blue, stars shattered around the galaxy like little diamonds. This was the space he'd dreamed of visiting as a boy, before the events of New York ruined it for him. This was the place where he'd gone when Maria shouted at him, when Howard hit him in his rage.

A pair of delicate arms wrapped around him, and the smell of pine and hyacinths filled his nose and he leaned back into Lana's touch. Her lips were on his neck, her hand slid under his shirt and another cupped his bulge. He thrust in her hand and she hummed in approval. He could feel her body pressed tightly against his back, her flat stomach, full breasts, legs he wanted to have around his waist. She loosened her grip a little so he could turn around, he lifted her skirt and slipped his hand in her panties, feeling the wetness, so ready for him to thrust his fingers into her warmth, but she had other ideas. She got on her knees, opened his belt, pulled his boxers off and took his hard dick in her mouth.

He moaned in pleasure, pushed his hand in her hair but suddenly it was much shorter, he grabbed it and pulled, wanting to see her eyes, but it wasn't Lana who looked up at him, his cock halfway in his mouth.

Loki had the exact expression he imagined Lana would have, actually it was almost impossible to tell the difference, Lana had longer hair and she wore makeup, and maybe her features were a little softer but it was hard to tell since his cock was blocking the way. Loki pulled off, his lips glistening with spit, and Lana's grin spread on his lips.

"I bet you knew all along," he said.

Tony jumped up on his bed, covered in sweat, his cock achingly hard. He wished he had someone to fuck, it had been at least three weeks since the last time and be was going crazy, but he only had the images of Lana and Loki burned behind his eyelids as he slid his hand in his boxers, and shamefully grabbed himself. He didn't feel shame for jerking off, that was a perfectly healthy habit, but for the the images that got him off.

He showered, and as the water washed the last drops of sleep off him he had to admit to himself what he'd knew since he'd heard Loki's voice yesterday.

The resemblance was so blatant that he wondered how he could even call himself a genius after not figuring out her identity. She hadn't even lied about her background, had just refused to answer his questions and he'd accepted it as if it was normal. _And all that fucking green._

He still couldn't help himself for having a tiny shed of hope, and he tried calling Lana. No one answered as he'd predicted.

He went through his video surveillance data, and compared Lana's face to Loki's. They were almost identical.

If Tony had been a good man, he would've marched to SHIELD. headquarters, demanded to meet Fury, and told him everything. He could've at least told Steve, Pepper or Rhodey – Thor, of all people, deserved to know.

But Tony Stark had never been able to make the right decisions when beautiful women were concerned, so instead he marched to SHIELD headquarters, demanded to meet Fury and lied to his face.

"We could have a leak," Tony told Fury, dead serious. "The weapon is mine, and I am the one who knows all about it. Let me question him."

"We have trained professionals doing that right now," Fury said.

"Your trained professional's don't know shit about my device," Tony said, having started a staring contest with Fury and not planning to lose now. "They don't live in the Avengers Tower. I need to know who, how, why."

"And you will. When we are done."

"We don't exactly have all the time in the world," Tony said. "There's an alien ship looming in out athmosphere, we don't have time to let Loki play with your trainees."

Fury sighed deeply, and Tony knew he'd won. "You get ten minutes alone with him. No more."

Tony nodded. He was escorted by two SHIELD agents to Loki's cell.

He was sitting in the middle of the room, tied to a chair, the blank look ever present. The Agents listened to their orders, and then nodded at Tony before exiting the cell.

The two of them stood there, sizing each other up, and a flicker of life could be seen in Loki's fiery green eyes. He had a long wound starting from his cheek and continuing until his neck, and his left eye was a sickly shade of dark purple. The purple eye was his doing, but the wound was new.

His face was Lana's face, and Tony couldn't help but wince seeing her – him – like this.

Loki looked at him, and for a minute his edges blurred and then Lana was there, dressed in Loki's leather armor and bound to a chair. Her grin was short, the wound seemed to cause her pain.

"Hello, Stark," she said. "So nice of you to come and see me."

"God of lies and deception," Tony said, like he was talking to himself. Lana's – Loki's – expression darkened.

"I am the god of mischief," she said. "Tricks and illusions for laughs and survival. Change and fluidity. And fire. Everybody forgets about the fire."

"I don't care."

"Yet you're here," she said. "I am not the god of destruction."

"Thank you for finally explaining!" Tony said, mock relieved. "Imagine how much trouble it would've been for everyone involved if we just kept thinking you're evil!"

"Evil?" she asked.

"Could you go back to your real form?" Tony asked, the scrunched his eyebrows. "You shouldn't be able to use magic with those cuffs."

"I'm not using magic. This is my real form," she said. "I am as much a woman as I am a man."

She tilted her head, and then turned into the Loki Tony knew. "But if you prefer this one."

Loki grinned, wide and scary, but the mad glint in his eyes that Tony had seen all those years ago was not there. He wasn't sure if Loki was just controlling his expression to fool him, or if something had truly changed.

"Was Lana real?" he asked. "Was any of it?"

"I was Lana," he said.

"Not what I meant."

He looked away. "Lana is me," he said. "But _I_ am Loki. "

Tony nodded. If only he could believe him.

The door opened, and SHIELD agents arrived in. Tony was escorted out, and he felt like he was in a dream. Loki had been realer than anything that surrounded him, the cars, the buildings, the people.

Tony called Jane. Thor still hadn't learned how to use a cellphone, so the only way to reach him was to leave a message to his girlfriend, since they saw each other almost every day. She was sort of confused about him calling – they weren't close, even though they hanged in the same group.

"How's... everything?" she asked after having promised to tell Thor to drop by. "Thor seemed unwell, but wouldn't talk about it. All I know is that Loki is alive and is now being held in a SHIELD cell."

"That's pretty much all there's to know," he said. "They're torturing Loki for information. If Thor knows that, it must be tearing him apart."

"It just doesn't feel right at all," she said. "Loki being behind this attack. Last time he saved us. He died."

"Apparently he didn't," Tony said, even though he silently agreed. Loki had been just as confused about the attack that happened the day of their movie date. Someone else had commanded her army, if it was her army at all. They had retreated when Loki was captured, but they didn't seem to fall apart without a leader.

"They shouldn't torture him," Jane said.

"I know," Tony said. "Sometimes it's hard to remember we are the good guys here."

"You protect innocent lives," Jane said, and it sounded like she'd already had this conversation a few times. Maybe Thor wasn't as aggressive and unfazable as he seemed in the battlefield.

"I hope so."

...

"Make room lovebirds," Tony told Steve and Bucky. They were watching Sherlock, and had somehow managed to spread over the whole couch. They moved so Tony fit next to them, and he lifted his feet on top of them. He kicked Bucky when he tried to push them to the floor, so finally they let him stay so.

"Tony! You're straight!" Bucky said suddenly, and Tony lifted his eyebrows. "We need your unbiased opinion. Do you think John and Sherlock are a couple?"

Steve looked at him, eyebrows slightly scrunched. They seemed so serious, and Tony wanted to laugh. Or maybe suggest that they make a tumblr. He'd heard that was a place for people whose obsession got out of hand.

"My slightly biased opinion is that they should be a couple," he said.

"Your slightly biased opinion?" Bucky asked.

Tony swallowed. He wasn't sure why he felt nervous – Steve and Bucky were both bisexual, and they definitely wouldn't judge him. None of his friends would, but saying it out loud seemed to make everything so final. His sexuality. Lana. Loki.

"I've fucked a few men," Tony said. "It wasn't horrible."

It was worth it just for the reaction he got. Bucky almost choked on his soda, and Steve's eyebrows flew at least an inch higher than he'd thought they'd go.

"You've fucked a few men?" Bucky asked. " _ We _ haven't fucked 'a few men'!"

"I'm not wearing a purity ring like Steve did or pulling one girl a year like you did," Tony said smugly. "I've had sex with at least four hundred people. Few of them were three- or foursomes and the girls liked the show. Plus a blowjob is a blowjob."

"I thought our kiss was special to you," Steve said, and pouted. Bucky apparently knew about it already because he didn't comment, just laughed. "You were the third person I ever kissed."

"It was," Tony said and patted his cheek. "I hadn't  _ kissed _ men before. Kissing is not necessary when you can just slide in and rock your hips."

"You're unbelievable," Steve said.

"So who was the first?" Tony asked. "I was third so Peggy must've been second."

Steve pointed at Bucky and grinned. "We were just 'practising for the girls'," he said. "And look how that turned out."

The two of them seemed to get lost in each other's eyes, and even though Tony claimed he hated their romantic crap, he had to admit they were kinda cute in their puppy love. Extremely cute. He wished he had someone who looked at him like that, not all the time, but even once, to know how it would feel. A picture of Loki, chained to a chair and his cheek slit open returned to his mind, and he knew he couldn't forget now. Couldn't pretend nothing had happened between them and let Fury torture him to death.

"When you saw him, back from the dead and wearing the enemy's colors how could you be so sure that you'd make him remember?" Tony asked, and they both turned to him again. There was a flicker of that old pain in Bucky's eyes and Steve wasn't smiling anymore, but he needed the answer. "How did you know your friend was still there? That when he'd get his memories back he'd just return to your side happily?"

Bucky shook his head, looking slightly angry. "He didn't know any of that. He tried to make me remember, but nothing worked. In the end he dropped his shield, and would have let me kill him." It seemed Tony had arisen an old fight about Steve's willingness to sacrifice himself.

"No, Bucky that's..." Steve breathed deeply, and then continued more steadily. "I knew I had no other choice. I needed him by my side or I couldn't have been able to live with myself thinking about the ‘maybes’ and ‘what ifs’. I believed in him, because I love him. And I did the right thing, didn't I? We're here." He squeezed Bucky's hand in his reassuringly.

"Where do you get that kind of belief?" Tony asked.

"He's Captain America," Bucky said. "He _is_ faith. He believes in the best of everything and everyone." _And that's what I love about you_ was left unsaid, but Tony could almost hear it. He wanted to believe in the best of Loki, but how could he? Loki hadn't been brainwashed, he'd never knew him as a good person, if he'd ever even been one.

"So are you bisexual?" Bucky asked when the silence streched. Tony almost jumped.

"Bisexual as in a hole is a hole?" he joked. They weren't buying it.

"Could you ever love a man?" Steve asked.

_ "I will burn the heart out of you,"  _ Moriarty growled to Sherlock on the screen.

_ "I've been informed that I don't have one,"  _ Sherlock answered, expression cold, almost making the viewer believe it was true.

_ "But we both know that's not quite true,"  _ Moriarty said, always one step ahead.

"Who knows about love?" Tony said. "I don't do love."

"Are you going to be seeing Lana again soon?" Steve asked, as if that was the logical follow-up for what Tony had said. Maybe it was.

"We'll see," he said. "Lets watch the next episode too. Irene Adler is hot."

"Black hair and a vicious smile," Steve said. "Someone has a type."

Tony laughed. It's not like he offered a drink to every villain he met.

"You'd make a great Sherlock," Bucky said, eyeing him up and down. "You'd get your own Adler and your own Watson. Who'd you be more excited about?"

He didn't know. Maybe he wanted both.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and a comment if you want to make me happy!

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, leave kudos and a comment! Those motivate me to update! :)


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